Date Night.

Oh date night .......how much I have missed you. Fabio and I are very protective of our children, we don't feel comfortable leaving our kids to anyone except family. We depend on our parents and siblings for that. All of Fabios family live far away, my younger sister lives far away, my older sister has a family of her own and my parents are our babysitters when we work so we hate to take their weekends too. So we are left without babysitters most of the time. It sucks and I completely miss having that alone time out in the town with my husband.

Before the kids we use to go out once a week for dinner. Out in the town and would go to the movies. We loved it. We sampled every restaurant near us and saw every movie out in theaters at the time. We sadly can't do that now and we miss it.

Luckily for us our old babysitter took two weeks off from her busy life as Dr. Ponton. Wohooooo Dr. Ponton to the rescue. Her only request was that we put the younger one to bed before we left and we did as she said and we were off. She only had to put one child to bed and the rest of the night was hers and she was sleeping over so Fabio and I could stay out as long as we wanted to. Awesome!!!!! We were off. We had dinner at the house so on our way to the movies we went and had hot chocolate and pastries. We talked and laughed. He opened the car door for me and we held hands all night. It was like old times. That old feeling😄 of being in love and it only being about each other. It may sound corny but I loved it all. Then we were off to see "turning 40". I am 36 and Fabio is 38 so we are not there yet but close to it. The movie was so great. It touches on everything that a marriage goes through. We laughed so hard and saw ourselves in the couples relationship at times. We sat next to these three young guys (wondered why they chose this movie). They were laughing too. The whole theater was laughing.

On one scene the couple were going away for the weekend and talked about their kids, how they were stressed with them and how the kids drove them crazy and seconds later they talked about how much they missed them already and wanted to see them again. I can relate. I miss my boys when I am away but when I am with them at times I want to be Away. Like during the day when they are driving me crazy and I yell at them. When they are asleep and I go check in on them I feel so guilty. I kiss them and promised not to yell and tell them how much I love them They look like tiny Angels.

On another scene, they talk about how they feel like they fight over the stupidest things because they are tired or aggravated. Fab and I often talk about how we have argued about silly things just because we were sleep deprived. Due to having our boys and wanting to set a good example we sometimes do the silent arguing. Where we are mad at each other , talk to each other only about the kids or house stuff but will not directly talk to each other. It's a cold conversation that leads to silence. We realized last night that may not be good for the boys either. They still see that and understand.

The movie hit home and it also made us realize that it's normal and that the most important part is that we love each other and want to be in this marriage. We are the foundation of our family. That without us our boys would not have a family so we have to and need to be happy with each other and in result they will be happy too.

At the end of the movie, I said to Fab "lets do something crazy". What he asked, he looked scared. We went to the McDonald drive thru and only got the french fries, soda and milkshake. Then we drove to Wendy's drive thru and got the spicy chicken sandwich. The lady at the Wendy's drive thru was laughing at us as we were paying for our sandwiches while stuffing French fries in our mouths. Sadly, we were not drunk. We were just high on love and on each other. Of course, the next morning we were suffering from heart burn but it was worth it.

Desperately Seeking for Answers

When my husband and I bought our home we made sure it was a good neighborhood, a good school district and I made sure to check that there were no child molesters near our home. We were protecting our children before they were even born. That's what all parents do. They try their best to provide a safe and loving home for their children. Every generation tries to do better than the one before. You have no idea how much you will love your new bundle of joy until you hold them for the very first time. You will give them the world and promise to protect them always. So what do you do when your child is taken away so suddenly and so violently. What could you have done differently? Did you fail them in any way? It's thoughts like this that I am sure run through the parents of those 20 innocent lives we lost in Newtown, CT.

I am desperately seeking for answers........How do we protect our children? What do parents need to do, what does society need to do, what do I need to do? I am scared for my children, scared of sending them into a world I no longer feel safe in. I recently read somewhere that we should not be worrying about what kind of world we are leaving behind for our children but what kind of children we are raising and leaving to our world. I never thought of that. Its all so true and frightening. Should I never introduce video games to my Children? Should i be an advocate for the banning of guns.....will that keep my children safe? Should I quit my job and home school?

How do I keep these fears from my children? Can I ever put them in the bus without fear that I may never see them again? I am desperately seeking for answers......how do I make sure that my sons grow up to be good boys, good contributors to society, polite, honest, hard working? How do I make sure they don't hurt anyone or hurt themselves. I am Desperately seeking for answers......until I find them I have to do something I haven't done in a long time, I have to "PRAY".