Someone.....anyone.....help me.

When I was pregnant with Lucas, I felt like a queen. Fabio was so attentive, so caring and so was everyone else. I felt like royalty. Everyone wanted to make sure I was alright and Fabio was the perfect husband. Then came Noah, and Fabio again did an excellent job taking care of Lucas and his pregnant wifes needs. He was on top of everything.

Now with baby #3.......not so much....  not the queen......not so much the princess....not so much of anything. He tries as much as he can. 

We were at a football game for Lucas the other day, the bleachers were full and there was no where to sit. I was with Noah and knew he needed to run around anyway and I walked over to the grass area with him. I told Fabio where I was going and he said OK. Noah started running around and I just stood standing but then got tired. I plopped down and as soon as my ass hit the floor I knew I would not be able to get up on my own again. I couldn't even sit Indian style, I couldn't stretch out my legs either. Oh man what a mistake this was I thought. Noah thankfully decided he was tired running around and sat next to me ripping grass with his hands and digging into the dirt. I didn't care at least he was near me. I was able to watch Lucas play thankfully. I kept moving my ass, legs and belly frequently tying to find a comfortable spot but couldn't. I sat there for at least   half an hour, I felt my ass numb. Then the game was over and Fabio calls out to me and Noah and says "come guys hurry up, come they are having food for everyone, come before it's all gone". Noah jumps up and runs to Fabio. Fabio picks him up and assumes I will be following. But I was still on the grass trying desperately to get myself up. There was nothing to hold on to, I tried to roll, go on my knees but bending them only got one ass cheek of the floor. Then I hear " Claud, where you at". Then sees me on the floor. Then he tells me to stop fooling around and come get food. I gave him the dirtiest look, literally dirty because somehow I had dirt in my face from the rolling around. He got the point and helped me up. I was like a bug on its back, couldn't get up without assitance. 

One morning we were rushing to try to get to church on time when I lay down on my bed and Fabio says "what are you doing, we have no time for a nap Claud ". I responded "it's the only way to put on my socks, I lay down, put my legs up on the air and put on the sock and pull it down". He was amazed on how I had created a way to put on my socks.  Desperate times calls for desperate measures. 

I walk....well actually I waddle.....everywhere holding Lucas with one hand and the other hand holds Noah I think of how am I going to hold the third. How am I going to push a stroller  then hold on to the other two. I guess you manage....somehow you have to. 

Pregnant with a third, working full time and having two kids already is hard. I don't know how women do it. But I know once our baby arrives, it will be harder than ever. Oh God help us. 

Don't you ever touch my child!!!!

My heart is breaking. My tears can't stop. I know its worst because I am 8 1/2 months pregnant but the emotions and anger running through my veins is like nothing I have ever felt before. Lucas my first born....my big boy got punch by another boy of the same age and worst of all I didn't see it but felt something was wrong. 

We were at Noah's last soccer game. All the moms and dads were watching our 3 1/2 year olds kick the soccer ball for the last time of the season. I was chatting it up with one of the moms that I have become close to. Fabio was recording the game and Lucas was playing with his best friend Michael and they were climbing a tree. All the kids playing near him were kids from the parents that were watching the game. He was safe. He was safe. 

Then the game finished, trophies were being handed out and other teams with their parents were coming on the field to play their game. New boys....boys that I didn't know....boys who were mean. I was chatting with other moms when I see Lucas run to me with his coat half way off, eyes watery and face all red. I knew something was wrong.....felt it in the pit of my stomach. I asked him if he was alright and he said he was fine. His friend said nothing was wrong but I knew it was. The moms kept talking and I let it go but the way he looked at me as he ran away to play I knew there was more. I should have stopped him but instead I continued talking but was still looking at him. 

He began wrestling with his friend and brother. There was still something off as I watched from afar. They did not go back to the tree I noticed. Ten minutes later we started walking back to the car when I began to help Lucas with his seat belt and he said " mommy I have to tell you something but I will tell you at home". I knew it..."baby tell me now". "I don't want to then you are going to go and make a big deal and embarrass me". I promise I wouldn't and at this point Fabio arrived with Noah and was buckling him in and heard Lucas. Fabio says " please Lucas you can tell us anything you want". Lucas tells me "I will whisper it in your ear".  Ok I said. "A boy punch me in my face" and his eyes watered with tears. My heart broke, I felt a big lump in my throat and the urge to find this kid and kill him. Fabio of course could not contain himself and said "what kid, tell me who it is and I will kill him". He quickly realized he said it out loud and stopped himself. Lucas went on to say that this was the reason he didn't tell us because we would confront the kid and embarrass him. What were we suppose to do, ignore it...let this kid think its ok to punch someone in the face....not defend our Lucas and let him think we are ok with him getting punched. I knew I had promised but the mother bear in me took over and I set off to find this brat. But first I needed details. Lucas told us what he looked like and Fabio spotted him still on the tree. I proceeded to ask lucas if he had done something to the kid that would make the kid punch him. Not that there should ever be a reason for anyone to touch him but I needed to have the full story. Lucas said he didn't do anything. Then I asked Lucas if he wanted to come with me and of course he said no. Then I explained " I know mommy is breaking her promise to you but I want you to know its not ok with us that anyone touch you, embarrass you or make you cry. It's not acceptable ever. Please please always come to me or daddy if this ever happens to you again and don't ever feel embarrassed for us defending you, your brother, the baby and you are our life and we will always protect you."  He smiled and Noah said " I am going to punch that kid". I'm sure if Noah had been there he would have punched the kid. 

I set off trying to calm myself down, I said nothing to Fabio, I just walked across the field with my humongous belly. I spotted the kid and walked towards him. There was two little girls up on the tree about 7 to 8 years old. Another bigger boy was next to the boy in question. I said "hi guys... Do you know who punched my son in the face" ( no time or desire for small talk). One girl said "Thomas did" and they pointed to him. Thomas put his face down and I walked towards him. "That was not nice Thomas, how would you like it if someone punched you in your face, did my son do something to you". The girls responded that Lucas and his friend were trying to break the house of leaves they had built but agreed that What Thomas did was wrong. I asked them where Thomas mom was and where and the girls along with Thomas all said they wouldn't tell me because I was a stranger and Thomas did not want to get in trouble. I wanted to go to every woman in that field to find her but instead I went to his level and in a sweet voice I said " you should never punch anyone in the face....ever....and don't ever ever ever touch my son again". He put his face down and shook his head up and down as if to say yes".  With all the strength I had I pushed my body up. To get to this kids level was not easy. 

I knew I had scared Thomas and his poor parents were probably watching the game too and had not noticed either. As I walked back across the field I looked at every mom in the field waiting for one of them to come up to me but no one did. She was probably chatting up with her friends like I was. 

I got back in the car and told Lucas what had happened. I kissed him and reassure him that we will always protect him and never let anyone hurt him. I kissed his checks that were still red and kissed his eyes that had gotten watery again. Fabio and I decided to take them to carvel to try and  erase this memory from his mind. As I drove out of that parking lot I cried quietly and tears fell down my face. I had failed him for not going with my gut but I had showed him it was not acceptable what that boy did. Hopefully I had scared Thomas enough to think before punching another kid. 

I had never done anything like this before and I would do it again. We told Lucas next time he he should punch back and defend himself. My sweet boy said "but Jesus said we are suppose to love everyone". I said "true but not those who punch you first". Sorry Jesus.