When I met Fabio and we talked about having children I knew I wanted to make sure that my kids always felt beautiful, smart and confident. Fabio is the complete opposite of me. He is confident about himself, strong minded. not always a strenght i may add ;)), is nice but sticks up for what he believes no matter what, he doesn't let anyone or anything bring him down. I wanted our kids to feel that ......boy or girl.
God so far has given me boys and from the minute they were born I have always commented on how handsome they are. In fact, every morning after they brush their teeth and I am brushing their hair I ask them "look in the mirror......who do you see". Their response "a handsome smart boy". And they smile........ BIG. Maybe I am making them conceited but I need them to not only know it but see it and I'm trying the best I can. Noah has been called cute by others to which he responds "I not cute I handsome". He knows it at 3..... he knows it.
Another thing I wanted the boys to learn was that just because they feel good about themselves doesn't mean that if they see someone that looks different than them that they should treat them bad. Growing up I hated the word "fat". It was an awful word, not a potty word but a hurtful word. I taught the boys that this word was not acceptable in our home, that it should never be used and we should always defend those who are called that and advise those that use theword, that its not a nice word. Our cat Bashy is what most would consider plump. When Lucas was little and he asked if Bashy was "fat" we told him that we didn't like that word and that it was a hurtful word. "We prefer to say he is just a little big". A friend of Lucas came over one day and saw Bashy and yelled "fat cat". Lucas quickly ran and covered Bashys ears and said that it was hurtful to say the word and that we prefer to say he is just a little big. The boy looked at us strange but never has used that word in our home again.
At Lucas school right before school was over a mom came up to me and asked "are you lucas mom?". I was scared that he was in trouble and that I as his mother would get blamed. She proceeded to tell me that her daughter had come home one day so happy. Her daughter went on to say that she was at school recess when all the kids began calling her "fat" and they were all laughing and she was crying. All the kids joined in and laughed but one kid didn't laugh and came forward, grabbed her hand and said "everyone stop laughing, you are not being nice, you should never use that word, its a hurtful word. God made her this way and she is perfect". He then turned to her and said "don't cry, you are perfect just the way God made you". That kid ......:was my Lucas. The kids left the girl alone and Lucas stayed with her until recess was over. Later in the day he gave her a drawing. The drawing her mom explained had the little girl dressed up as a princess on top of a stage and everyone else on the floor was drawn tiny. The little girl felt so special and the mom was so grateful and I .......was SO PROUD. "You are raising a good kid", she said.
Another parents came up to me a few weeks before and asked again "are you Lucas mom". He went on to explain that his daughter is a little slow. She doesn't have a learning disabilities but is just natural slow at doing things and is not good at sports at all due to her being slow (I can relate I am not good at any sports either). He said that his daughter told him that Lucas never makes fun of her and always waits for her, he is the only kid that does that in the class. The dad thanks me for raising such a good kid. Again, I was beaming with joy and such admiration for my sweet boy. 
Noah is still little but I have no doubt he will also be like his big brother Lucas. With all the craziness in our life's, it is nice to know that the values that we are teaching the boys is sticking to them. That makes all of the chaos worth it.
