The real boss of our house.

Take a look at the real boss of the Barone household. He is 16 years old and bosses everyone in the house. He has been with me since I was a junior in college and has never left my side. If he could talk he would tell you all my secrets  but he is loyal or smart enough to know if I don't treat him well he would gladly find a way to divulge all of my secrets. 

Puffball was the first one that my husband had to win over. If puffball didn't like him I would have said goodbye to Fabio but thankfully puffball fell in love with my husband just as soon as I did. It was important to me that puffball love my husband and vice versa. Then came my first born Lucas. Everyone thought puffball would have a hard time with sharing mommy so I made sure not to exclude him ever and to still leave time for cuddling with my Puffball. At bed time I would feed Lucas and then put him in the crib, then I would rock puffball and put him in his own little bed it was an extra bouncy seat I had. I made sure that Puffball felt that he was my baby too and he felt it for sure. Puffball quickly would know the bedtime routine and would stay in his bouncy seat until I went to bed and then he would come and sleep with us in our bed. People who didn't know me, my husband or Puffball thought I was being silly or crazy for giving so much attention to a cat but the thing was they didn't know us. People who knew me, knew my love and respect for any living thing and those who knew my husband knew that about him too. Those who knew Puffball  knew how important we were to each other and how close we have been through out the years. Puffball and Lucas soon fell in love too. Then Noah came. I didn't have to do the same routine with Puffball when Noah came, he knew now that Noah was a baby and needed the attention. He began spending more time with Lucas and Fabio but still every night until today he waits for me in my room to drink water out of the sink and wait for some me and puffball time. Now our third baby is coming and although Puffball is now 16 years old I pray that he lasts a few more years so our third can have some memories of our special Puffball. 

Anyone who has ever met Puffball has fallen in love with him. Not only is he such a handsome guy but he is also so sweet. To this day, he has never bitten me or the children or even scratched them. He is gentle with them even when Noah is hugging him super tight. He is sweet but also stubborn. Puffball does not tolerate messes. If at the end of the day when we all go to bed there is any piles of toys or shoes or any piles of anything he will pee on it. We have had to throw toys, shoes and other things away because of Him. He hates messes, it keeps the kids in line because they know at the end of the day they have to clean up their toys or Puffball will pee on them and they will be thrown out. We have seen Puffball inspect the house at night going to each room and even sits in the corner of the room when the kids are cleaning up to make sure they are doing a good job.  If I am mean to him, don't give him love, ignore him or plainly don't feed him when he asks he will pee on something of mine. When I was younger and would have to go away to work, my mom would say if I was gone longer than two weeks Puffball would get into my closet and take all my clothes off the hanger and all of my clothes off the drawer. That's the way he lets everyone know he was mad that I was gone. 

Puffball doesn't do that anymore, maybe because I don't go away much. But when I have gone away for work he is fine with it, I think now because he has Fabio and the boys or he is too old to care. 

Puffball is very strict about how he wants his home to be and everyone to behave. If we are yelling at the boys or the boys are fighting he intervenes with his constants meows. Its like he's telling usor whoever  is arguing to stop. He hates arguing. 

I always say that I will have to be hospitalized the day that Puffball leaves me. I can't imagine that day so until then he can be the boss of our house. We wouldn't have it any other way. 

That same old feeling.....

I should have known....... that same old feeling. My gut telling me something was going on, something was changing, something was coming. I had been through this before, two times.....I knew. I should have seen the signs, they were everywhere, I was familiar with them. Maybe I was afraid, I thought that chapter in my life was closed. God had other plans.

I awoke one morning and felt a sudden difference, I had felt this way before but I couldn't quite figure it out. The flu was going around and the stomach bug was striking homes but that was not quite it. As the morning passed I began to feel pain in my breasts. I knew that feeling but could it be?  As I was getting older, that feeling was becoming more frequent and stronger when I got closer to aunt Flo's visit once a month. Could I be going through menopause....early menopause?  

Sure Aunt Flo was a few days late but I had been working a lot those days and I just thought Aunt Flo was late, she had been late before so I was not worried at all. 

The next day I went to brush my teeth and threw up three times......definitely the  stomach flu I thought. I was in the car later that day and heard a song that reminded me of college and that old boyfriend that broke my heart, I began crying.....sobbing.....like the river wild. I had not cried for this boy for over 17 years....but there I was crying over a song that reminded me of him. What????!!!!!

I was more exhausted than usual, was passing out by 9pm and by 3pm I felt that I needed a long nap. I thought my RA was coming back strong again. I made an appointment to see my doctor the week after to see if we could increase the meds. 

I hate orange juice and Love coffee, one morning I woke up and chugged a tall glass of orange juice and the smell of coffee made me puke. What?!!!!!???  This must be earlyt menopause or insanity.  

On a Friday evening, we were at Tae Kwon Doe for Lucas belt test. I was pooped and Noah like usual could not sit still. He was an animal running all over the place. Fabio and I took shifts watching him making sure that he did not disturb the tests. When it was my turn to sit down i sat next to my brother-in-law (sisters husband). As soon as I sat down he says "are you pregnant". Out of the blue.....as if saying it was as natural as saying hello. "WHAT!!!!! No I am not pregnant, we are done remember, shop is closed, out of business". I said. I was so offended. Did I look bigger than usual?  What would he ask such a horrible question?  My sister came over and sat next to us and I whisper to her what her husband had just asked me. She was so mad at him "you never tell a woman she is pregnant when she is not...you are so rude". She said. Good now she was mad at him, serves him right for saying something so silly. 

He goes on to say "well, she looks exhausted, not like her glowing self, I just thought she might be pregnant" he says. Then it hit me......exhausted......not like myself.  Fabio walked over at this point and I told him what had just happened. He laughed and said " don't worry, we are done, of course you look tired, Noah is nuts". Still I thought....could I be? 

We got home that evening and as soon as the kids were in bed I ran to the bathroom sink. I prayed that I had at least one pregnancy test left from before. Bingo, I had one, and it didn't expire yet. I quickly took it and anxiously waited for it in the bathroom. My heart was pumping. It couldn't be I thought, I had always wanted three but my RA disease would make it so hard to handle three, plus I had begun to love our life with our two boys. I accepted and loved our lives. Noah was out of diapers, Lucas was behaving so well and Fabio and had begun going on dates and double dating again.  Life was great now. I looked at the stick and there it was, the thruth, the confirmation that my life was yet again going to change. Two lines......red as clear lines....I was pregnant for the third time. Oh boy...or girl....oh man. 

I ran to the family room and saw Fabio on the couch, he was sitting watching television like the other two times I had told him this news. He saw my face and asked what was wrong. I couldn't speak...I handed over the stick that would also change his life....he saw it and looked at me and it with fear in his eyes. He hesitated but took it and said "is this yours". Ahhh, I wanted to smack him, no I had someone else pee on a stick and now I want to share it with you. I whispered yes. There was silence. We both didn't say anything and then I started crying, sobbing and he held me and then I went to bed. We didn't speak of it, afterall it was 9 pm and I needed to sleep. The next day I bought 4 more pregnancy test, even the idiot proof ones that say "pregnant or not pregnant". You know...just in case you can't understand the other ones with the directions of the lines and what means what. I needed to make sure I completely understood the test in case I confused the lines. God knows i wasn't myself these days. Four test later and all confirmed that number 3 was coming. Even the idiot proof ones said "pregnant ". Yes I was, no doubt now, my life was going to change, all of our lives will change. 

That old feeling was our baby saying " hello there mommy I'm coming ready or not"  Surprise...yes.....scared....yes....but so thankful that God thought that we deserved another member of our family. We await till December 24, (can you tell it was not planned) for our third...Christmas will never be the same. Wish us luck. 

"Fat" is not OK!!!!

Growing up I did not have the best perception of myself. Didn't like my body, didn't like my face, hated my voice .........it sounded like a chipmunk and hated that I was toooo nice, I didn't have a backbone. I had wonderful parents that always reassured me that I was beautiful and smart and that being too nice was not a weakness. It still didn't help, I wanted to be as beautiful as my older sister and as smart as my younger. Thankfully with help from my parents, friends, family and sisters and Fabio my perception of myself changed. I accept who I am and respect who I have become. 

  When I met Fabio and we talked about having children I knew I wanted to make sure that my kids always felt beautiful, smart and confident. Fabio is the complete opposite of me. He is confident about himself, strong minded. not always a strenght i may add ;)), is nice but sticks up for what he believes no matter what, he doesn't let anyone or anything bring him down. I wanted our kids to feel that ......boy or girl. 

God so far has given me boys and from the minute they were born I have always commented on how handsome they are. In fact, every morning after they brush their teeth and I am brushing their hair I ask them "look in the mirror......who do you see". Their response "a handsome smart boy". And they smile........ BIG. Maybe I am making them conceited but I need them to not only know it but see it and I'm trying the best I can.  Noah has been called cute by others to which he responds "I not cute I handsome". He knows it at 3..... he knows it. 

Another thing I wanted the boys to learn was that just because they feel good about themselves doesn't mean that if they see someone that looks different than them that they should treat them bad. Growing up I hated the word "fat". It was an awful word, not a potty word but a hurtful word. I taught the boys that this word was not acceptable in our home, that it should never be used and we should always defend those who are called that and advise those that use theword,  that its not a nice word. Our cat Bashy is what most would consider plump. When Lucas was little and he asked if Bashy was "fat" we told him that we didn't like that word and that it was a hurtful word. "We prefer to say he is just a little big". A friend of Lucas came over one day and saw Bashy and yelled "fat cat". Lucas quickly ran and covered Bashys ears and said that it was hurtful to say the word and that we prefer to say he is just a little big. The boy looked at us strange but never has used that word in our home again. 

At Lucas school right before school was over a mom came up to me and asked "are you lucas mom?". I was scared that he was in trouble and that I as his mother would get blamed. She proceeded to tell me that her daughter had come home one day so happy. Her daughter went on to say that she was at school recess when all the kids began calling her "fat" and they were all laughing and she was crying. All the kids joined in and laughed but one kid didn't laugh and came forward, grabbed her hand and said "everyone stop laughing, you are not being nice, you should never use that word, its a hurtful word. God made her this way and she is perfect". He then turned to her and said "don't cry, you are perfect just the way God made you". That kid ......:was my Lucas. The kids left the girl alone and Lucas stayed with her until recess was over. Later in the day he gave her a drawing. The drawing her mom explained had the little girl dressed up as a princess on top of a stage and everyone else on the floor was drawn tiny. The little girl felt so special and the mom was so grateful and I .......was SO PROUD.  "You are raising a good kid", she said. 

Another parents came up to me a few weeks before and asked again "are you Lucas mom". He went on to explain that his daughter is a little slow. She doesn't have a learning disabilities but is just natural slow at doing things and is not good at sports at all due to her being slow (I can relate I am not good at any sports either). He said that his daughter told him that Lucas never makes fun of her and always waits for her, he is the only kid that does that in the class. The dad thanks me for raising such a good kid. Again, I was beaming with joy and such admiration for my sweet boy. 

Noah is still little but I have no doubt he will also be like his big brother Lucas. With all the craziness in our life's, it is nice to know that the values that we are teaching the boys is sticking to them. That makes all of the chaos worth it.