Our Second Honeymoon.

Fabio and I were in the Carribbean celebrating our ten year anniversary. Eleven years ago Fabio went to Puerto Rico to propose to me while I was working there. It was romantic and we decided every ten years we would visit the Carribbean and spent one night in Puerto Rico. Forward Eleven years later and three kids and neither Fabio or I are the same person. We are ten years older, ten years more worn out, tired, RA and digestive problems. The only things that have stayed the same are the fact that we are still in love and Fabio is still a crazy adventurer. I use to be a little but the older I get and with each kid I gave birth to I became more nervous, more cautious and less adventurer. I am not the same. I am nervous Nelly. So during our week of celebrating our anniversary Fabio wanted to do the same things that we did ten years ago when we got engaged and the things we did during our honeymoon. Take in mind that although Fabio is still adventurous he still gets tired and his joints still hurt the next morning but he doesn't care he still goes for the thrill and has no fear. 

He wanted to ride ATV'S, we did that ten years ago during our honeymoon in Hawaii. I kind of liked it minus all the mud in my face.  This time I had not brought any ugly, dirty old clothes to ruin with all that mud.  I said no and he begged me to do it this time and I will be in his ATV. That scared me even more. He is crazy, he would probably crash our ATV or worse. I agreed but thank God we didn't get to do it too much on the agenda. Next, he wanted to do zip lining. What?!!?!!  Why would I do that?  What if I fell?  I couldn't. Then I felt bad and said I would go wth him and then just see him zip lining and then we can go home. Thank God the concierge told us that it is a hiking zip lining trip. We would have to hike and then to get to the other side everyone would have to zip lined to finish the hike. What??!!!  I would have no choice but to zip line. Absolutely not!!!!  I am not being forced to do it. That was scratched of the list. 

Next, when we arrived in Puerto Rico he wanted to climb "El Yunque". It is a national rainforest. We had climbed to the top eleven years ago but I was in shape then with a lot of energy. I agreed only if we could climb half of it. He agreed and we did. The whole way up I never complained and he thanked me for not complaining but in my head I was cursing him out and praying that I didn't fall off. When we got to the waterfall in the half way mark Fabio got in the water and was like a child in a water park. I just sat and smiled. I was too tired to bathe and could not wait to climb back down and out of my sweaty clothes. 

Next he wanted to go snorkeling and visit an island off Puerto Rico called Culebra. I agreed. We snorkeled but the coral seemed to be closer than the coral we saw in Hawaii. They warned us not to get too close or it will cut us. Fabio and I had our sign language under water to communicate but when I signaled to go back because we were getting too close to the coral, he pushed us forward. Then I panicked and started fighting him to go back and then I touch something I think it was ....a leave..... of a plant ....down there and.... I swam so fast pulling Fabio with me. When we got on the boat he was laughing  saying we were not that close but I knew we were. I was so mad, this is why I wouldn't go with him on the ATV. He began diving off the boat....and swimming, I stayed nicely in my chair on the boat. Then we visited Culebra. They told us when walking on the sand on the beach we should be careful not to step on certain parts because of turtle nesting. If we did we would get arrested. I of course a rule and law follower decided not to take the risk and stayed on the boat. Not Fabio...he swam so fast to the beach. I just watched him. If he got arrested it would be his fault. Then I got lonely, with everyone off the boat. Then one of the crew members, young guy at least 23, began being a little too friendly and flirting. I quickly swam to the beach. It was flattering but I wanted my hubby. I swam to the beach and prayed that I did not encountered any turtle nesting. I didn't and it was a nice time. 

We did do a lot of fun things though. We renewed our vows by the beach, got drunk together, took our first selfies and ate so much we gained

5 pounds each. It was lovely to reconnect. He wants to do this every ten years. God help me.  

How do we know its a girl?

It's a girl!!!!  These were the words Fabio and I heard from my doctor when our daughter Milah was born. We wept like babies. Could it really be happening?  Could God have blessed us and our families with a girl finally. Our families on both side had desperately been waiting for a girl. On my side there are four grandsons. On my husbands there are three grandsons, my mother in law had two sons and my father in law was one of four boys. No girls!!!!  I had prepared myself to hear the words "it's a boy". Of course we would have welcomed our baby boy with open arms but the thought of a girl....of pink bows....pink dresses was too much not to dream about. So to learn that we had our baby girl was like we won the lottery. It was so worth waiting till the end to know that she wwe had a princess. 

Enters my curious Lucas who asks tons of questions.  Lucas had always asked me why do I pee sitting. I had explained that girls had different parts and he wanted to see how my part was different than his. That was not happening. 

When Lucas and Noah came to the hospital to meet their little sister they were so excited but then we're confused when they saw her. I think they expected her to be wearing pink, long hair and pink bows so that in their minds she was a girl. But what they saw was a tiny baby wrapped up like a burrito looking like a boy. She actually did have a lot of hair but it didn't have pink bows. So to them the baby looked nothing like a girl. Lucas asked "how do we know she is a girl?". To which we all answered "she is a girl trust Us". He wants proof, a sure indication that the baby girl he had wished for was actually given to him. He had asked Santa for a baby sister and had been a good boy so he needed to have proof that what he got was a sister. Noah could care less. He was just upset that mommy had to stay in the hospital with the baby, boy or girl he was pissed that his mommy would not be with him. 

When Milah and I got home two days later Milah still did not look like a girl in Lucas eyes. After all, all I had at home was blue clothes after having two boys so I had to  put her boy clothes to which he responded "mommy why is she wearing blue pajamas that say "daddy's boy" (damn it he could read). I explained that mommy had no pink clothes, mommy didn't know we were having a girl. 

A few days later, I began to receive packages from my little sister with tons of girl outfits. My mother in laws also bought her outfits and I went crazy in pink. I washed everything and could hardly wait to put her pink clothes and finally bows in her hair. I asked Lucas " does she look like a girl now?"  To which he replied " better but there is still something missing". 

Two weeks later after her belly button was cleared we took Milah her first bath. Aha....Lucas noticed she didn't have a pee pee. I didn't cover Milah or pushed them away from seeing her naked so I knew he would be aware of the difference " how come she doesn't have a pee pee?"  I responded " girls don't, only boys do". He says "that's what girls have, that's what you have". He got it. "Oh I know that's how the doctor knew she was a girl ", he says. Glad this conversation was over and I felt relieve until Fabio reminded me that I had taught this lesson in Milahs expense. I had shown her goods to her brothers. Something I am sure she will hold over me for years to come. For now, we had our girl and everyone knows what parts we all have. 

Lucas and the nudist rights.

Lucas has discovered lately his private part.....his pee pee. He noticed it before in the last six years but like his friends in his class and kids his age, Lucas is has become fascinated with it. 

He has even introduced Noah to his own pee pee. To which Noah responds "mommy when I tickle my pee pee.....oohhhh mommy it feels sooo good."  

The boys are now sharing a room since Noah's old room went to our baby girl and they did not want to be split. We have a fourth bedroom but the boys wouldn't have it, they wanted to share a room. They are very close. Now they do everything together. They get ready for school in the morning and put their pajamas on together as well. With the dressing and undressing I have often caught them not dressed at all. I walk in to two naked boys dancing on each other's bed shaking their pee pee around   .  How do i handle this?  How do I make them understand that it's ok to touch and admire ther own merchandise without becoming exhibitionist?  

One day I walked in to their room and found Lucas dancing on the bed flipping his pee pee from one side to the other. I yelled at him and told him not to do that and he had such a confused look on his face. "It's my own pee pee mommy, I can touch it mommy and can dance with it mommy". He went under his covers and began to cry. I walked out of the room to give myself a breather trying to figure out how I was going to deal with it. When I left I heard Lucas get up and close the door and locked it. Fabio was not home and I had to address it now. I always thought that I would be able to handle anything my kids wanted to know and that I would always always be honest. But this parenthood thing was getting harder and harder as time has gone by. 

Lucas has always been the "experiment one". Kids don't come with instructions so you have to find your way as you go along. You experiment with the first so you kind of learn to handle the situation better with the second (you hope). 

Back to my upset first born locked in his room. Fabio and I have always agree that when the boys are upset and go into their room and lock the door, we should let them. They should feel like their rooms are their space and they could go in there for private time and it will be given to them. I knocked on the door and asked if I could come in. "No..."  Finally after pleading he let me in and I explained once again but he had his own questions. 

"Who said we had to wear clothers?  Jesus wore clothes, did God tell him he had to wear them? Who made these rules mommy? If boys all have the same thing and girls all have the same thing then why do we have to hide it? Do you wear clothes in heaven? Is there a place you don't wear clothes I would like to visit there?"  By the end of these questions I was so exhausted. I answered some " yes Jesus wore clothes because when he was born the Virgin Mary put clothes on him. I don't know who made up the rules, everyone just knows to wear clothes. We are not hiding the parts, we are just covering it because its private. I don't know if in heaven they wear clothes and yes there is a place that people don't wear clothes but you can't go there until you are an adult". Somehow he seemed to understand or got tired of thinking too much. 

He got up and said mommy I want to draw now. Ok I said. Then he ends it with " I don't think Hawaii got the message because those girls that wear the flowers in their heads are showing their tummies and only cover a little bit. You can see this legs through the skirt mommy and this chest is all out there. They did not get the message". Wow....the things kids notice.