The missing Pokemon!!!

He was kicking, waving his arms, tears rolling down, screaming in language I barely understood,  every now and then I heard "I want it.....it's not fair.....I want it....it's mine.." That was my Noah having a tantrum in our car. I had just picked him and Milah up from my dads after work. Noah had lost his Pokemon card and the world was about to end, for that Pokemon card amongst the thousand that he had was the most valuable ......it was his lifeline. My dad tried to find it but no trace of it. Exhausted from work I buckled him in as his arms were like Edward Scissorhands. My dad buckled Milah in for me. I waved goodbye to my dad and he said "good luck". It was only twenty minutes to get home but the longest twenty minutes ever. My journey would be hard. No munchkins or happy meal was going to fix this. Noah began kindergarten this week so maybe the exhaustion from that set him off. It set up the tantrums of all tantrums....he was a Maniac. 

He screamed the whole way. I calmly tried to explain to him that the Pokemon will be found, he will survive and life will go on. He didn't listen, he screamed, kicked, kept saying incoherent things. Milah like mommy calmly said to Noah "it's OK, OK......nice nice" but after ten minutes she was saying incoherent things pointing her finger at him as if saying "stop it you crazy boy, it's just a card". But he kept screaming, I kept driving, Milah kept pointing her finger.

How would I survive this?  Then I tried to think of a happy place, a happy time...."Fat Cats". Fat Cats was a local college bar when I was in college. Some of my best memories were from there. It was your typical college bar, nothing fancy but it was my sororitys hang out place. I danced a lot there, a lot and dancing always made me feel happy. I imagined myself dancing, really letting loose, shaking everything, feeling the music.....I saw myself as the girl in "flash dance" jumping from one side of the dance floor to the other, i was wearing her same outfit and didn't feel weird at all wearing that to the bar (I was also 20 pounds lighter and had loads of energy)  I was a maniac....feeling the music run through my body....I was Kevin Bacon jumping around in the scene of "footloose" swinging from one swing to the other, jumping on cars...... I felt relaxed and I smiled, I heard the screams so far away......

Then the phone rang, it was my dad "THE POKEMON HAD BEEN FOUND!!!!"  Noah stopped crying and fell asleep as we were just turning the corner to the house. I pulled in the driveway and noticed Milah was also passed out. She must have been "the hell with this boy I'm taking a nap". 

I sat in the driveway contemplating what to do. Do I go ahead and face the inevitable tantrum that would happen again when I would wake them up or do I enjoy the silence....I decided to write this blog and all was right in the world....kids were sleeping, I was smiling and the POKEMON had been found. ☺️

You were right!!

Dear Mother of Three,

I have so much to tell you I don't know where to begin. For starters I want to apologize for my behavior in the last year and a little before that when I was pregnant with my third child. I was "miss know it all". I should have known better. In fact, I realize now I knew nothing. Nothing on what kind of woman it takes to be a mother of three. 

Some women decide that kids are not for them, others know that one or two kids is their limit. They know that having more than that will send them right to the crazy farm.  

I.....knew that I wanted three. After I had Lucas I knew that two more would complete me....would complete my life. After getting pregnant with Milah I felt whole. As if everything had led me to that moment....watching the boys holding their baby sister brought me to a place of serenity or complete tranquility. Nothing was going to bring me down from that cloud.....but I came down...hard.....like a sack of potatoes exploding all over a beautiful cleaned floor. 

You were honest with me, you told me how it was. I remember you telling me that the third child completely stole your patience, that it has never come back. 

You told me those bad words that you always promise would never be part of your life has increased with every child. 

You warned me that it will not be easy and no one will help. That all will judge you and those few out there (usually mothers and fathers of three or more) will salute you. 

You begged me to believe you, because my life will never be the same. 

YOU WERE RIGHT!!!!!

I didn't want to listen. I thought you were bitter, worn out. That maybe you needed to breathe more air and pray more. That maybe you weren't  trying hard enough. Most of all I thought I would never be unhappy because God gave me my three beautiful children. I yearn to hear heir laughters. I could see all five of us playing games with our nice puppy sleeping right by us. A perfect perfect life. 

I WAS WRONG!!!!

This life is tougher than I thought. 

My eight year old has become the kid that gets bullied. He doesn't stand up for himself with other kids but yet has no problem talking back to me. He no longer wants kisses at the bus stop. He says he is too old for them.  I have to give him a kiss inside the house behind close doors and blinds down. No one must know that he actually loves his mother. 

My second, Noah didn't have terrible two's, he skipped over that but now at five he has found his voice, how high and firm his voice goes as well and is tired of being the little brother and is standing his ground. After all, as he likes to say "I'm a big boy.....I'm going to kindergarten".  

My Milah is 16 months and somehow in the midst of all the happiness of having three kids I forgot what a 16 month old does. Miss Milah has found her voice like her big brother did, she found she likes it to go high and the terrible two's has begun, a few months early. She is now mobile and is into everything. She likes to climb things take everything out of cabinets and steal toys from everyone including ginger. 

To the average parent all these stages are normal but when you add them all up happening at the same time in the same household it's a disaster. 

My life is as chaotic as you said it would be. There are times that I am somewhere like the checkout line at the food store when I actually get to stand still for a second and I glance at the kids nails. OMG!!!! Where has their mother gone.....that horrible mother has not cut her kids nails for weeks, months even. They are crazy long....then I realize I'm their mother and I am to blame. Slowly I try to cover those bad boys. Thank God Noah bites his nails. Never thought i would see that as a good thing. Seriously, kids nails grow like chia pets. I blink and they are long. 

Then I look at their hair, holy mother of Jesus. Did I brush their hair? Did I brush their teeth?  When is the last time I cut their hair? Should I use spit to 

control that hair. I take out water from their water bottle and try to bring some control to that monstrosity. 

I always said I would make the kids pray at night but sometimes after the fiasco of bedtime is over I just want to go to bed myself. We are constantly apologizing to God. "Sorry God we will pray tomorrow, we are too tired, love you God". We owe him a lot of prayers. 

And play dates. You said I would hate them. I do!!  Trying to fit in these play dates for three kids is Terrible. I cringe when someone asks for a play date. After play dates I'm exhausted and my kids have more energy than ever. 

No wonder you go shopping every week. These kids are nuts, I have to get three gallons of milk a week for these kids. Constantly shopping for food. And going to the store with the three kids.....I get saluted, praised by some. One man said "I salute you....you are a remarkable". He made my day. Whether he meant or not it meant a lot that Someone noticed that being there with three kids was not where I wanted to be or chose to be but these damn kids need to eat. 

My swearing has increased as well. I say them under my breath but every now and then they pop out. The kids just smile and say "potty word mommy, say sorry". That they hear but when I'm yelling to come and eat they can't hear. 

Fabios time in the bathroom has increased and it's very common that he says his stomach hurts. " I must have gotten food poisoning". Food poisoning my a_ _. I have caught on to those tricks. 

My only escape are showers. I tell them somebody be dying or dead to be disturbed when I am taking a shower. 

The wonderful board games I envisioned are filled with Noah screaming that Lucas is cheating. Lucas running to his room slamming the door upset that he has been accused of something so horrible but at the end being so very true. Noah crying. Milah trying to eat the small pieces of the game and Ginger trying to eat whatever pieces Milah couldn't eat. It's fun!!!  Good times!!!

You were right on it all....even the good parts.  I hear and love their laughters in the house. I love watching them be sweet to each other and love our dog Ginger. I love that their mine.  I love that Fabio and I created this crazy life together.  I was meant to be a mother of three and so were you. 

Sincerely, your crazy friend, mother of three. 

A year of pink!!!!

It's been a year of pink dresses, pink bows, pink paint, pink crazy.........and more and more pink. When I was pregnant with my daughter Milah we chose to wait to find out the sex and I'm so glad we waited. The "it's a girl" moment that we had anticipated and wished for turn to be real and not a dream. We were over the moon and completely in love. She had no idea how spoiled she would be. Being the only granddaughter on both sides and being the baby sister of two big brothers. My husband at my request went out and got a pink stroller, pink swing and pink coming home clothes. After so much blue I was going pink. 

I had often seen the closeness the boys had with my husband Fabio. He was their idol. Their hero....their daddy could do anything....he's the strongest person in the world (he really is). I was their mother and they loved me but the bond between father and sons was unbreakable. I would see them playing in the backyard and I would yearn to have a pal of my own, my own little girl looking up at me in adoring eyes. Yes, my boys only want their mommy when their sick and they can't live without me and they stalk me often but I wanted my girl. My girl to go get my nails done with....to get my hair done with.....to talk about how crazy the other three boys in the family were and my girl to finally go with me to see........a Taylor Swift concert. 

Then there she was my perfect Christmas present...all for me. When she first looked at me I could feel the connection. Everyone said she would stare at me and smile so sweetly...she loved me back. I was over the moon head over heels in love with her and she felt the same way......until the daddy infection came upon her. Yes....she saw daddy and fell in love. She turned six months and was enchanted by her father. Her first word was mommy but when she discovered daddy she has never again said mommy. This man walks through the door and all she has to hear is his voice and she begins smiling, desperate to get near him and then she smiles ear to ear as if he was Brad Pitt in the flesh (more like Kevin Bacon for me). She even sings him a song..."dada dada dada dada". She adores him and now the three of them idolize   him. What is it with this man? I know he is still cute at forty and all and he does know how to tickle well but come on....he's not Brad Pitt (no Kevin Bacon). But they love him and again I found myself looking in to their world of daddy's the best. I was again alone without any fans. 

And then........I got a puppy. Ginger loves me....she thinks I am a cool, pretty and fun. She goes crazy when I get home, she greets and gives me tons of licks. She idolizes me...me...just me. Whenever I see her playing with Fabio and enjoying herself too much I throw her a pig skin or a bone. Just so she knows I am the one who gives her fun things...I am the cool one. Can't have her get the infection too. 

No matter who is her favorite. I love my princess and my two knights and I will always be their greatest fan.