Losing our power.

Fabio asked me today "what do we do, the boys are not believing our threats anymore, we are losing our power."  Sadly, they have caught on to mommy and daddy tricks. They know mommy and daddy won't leave them on the side of the road, even when they open the door of the car and threatened to take them out and leave them. They know their toys won't be given to other boys and girls. They know that mommy and daddy won't give away our cats, Puffball and Bashy. They know. They have caught on that mommy and daddy love them and they are all talk. 

The other night we went to a 25th wedding anniversary party. It was for Fabios cousin (who is more like a sister) and her husband. They celebrated 25 years of putting up with each other and dealing with the ups and downs and still sticking together. That's a great accomplishment.  At the party we bumped into couples who have also been married a long time. As we were discussing our kids, one mom said something so wise. I wanted to stop the music and make a public announcement. What she said I have probably heard before but had not quite paid attention because maybe it didn't affect me at the time. It did now. She said "you can't make a big fuzz about things when they are little and as they get older, afterall these are all stages they have to go through and they keep getting harder and harder". She now had a 15 year old teenager. Another parent said, "3 and 6 years old is the best ages, they are still sweet, our kids are 18 and 21, its a different ball game". These parents were so right. I love meeting older couples with older children, their advice is enormous.  They make you feel better about moments were you think you have hit rock bottom with a tantrum. 

The other day, I picked up Noah from my parents house and Lucas was in the car. We had gotten a rental car because our minivan was getting repaired after an accident. We got a car that our insurance would pay for which was a Volkswagon Passat. Noah began screaming that he left a power ranger at grandpas house. I calmly told him we were already heading home and will pick up the toy tomorrow. He was not having it. He began to scream and scream. Lucas covered his ears. I realized at that moment how much I love love my mini van. In the Passat he was sitting right behind me, it's like he was screaming right into my ear. In the mini van the car is bigger and he is further in the back making his cries more tolerable. It's the little things that help you survive these moments. 

My nephew was baptized the other day, and at church Noah began singing when no one was singing. I asked him quietly to be quiet but he answered "no I want to sing and you are a mean mommy". All eyes were on me. I whispered if you don't be quiet mommy will not lay with you for 5 minutes when you got to bed. His answer " I don't want you, I want daddy to sleep with me for 5 minutes ". The threat had not worked. My three year old figures out that who cares if mommy was not there he has his back up daddy. It use to work with Lucas. :(

Warnings are exhausting. Fabio gives one warning and they listen and never do it again. I give one warning and then I feel bad and give another and then another and they know mommy is all talk. American super nanny said that one warning should be enough and they should know you mean business and that's it. Fabios got that going for him.  Me not so much. The other day I tell Lucas that if he says one more potty word I will take his crayons away (Lucas loves drawing). A few minutes later he says another potty word. I take his crayons and explain why. The next day he comes home with his pencil box from school. He says mommy I brought my crayons from school so you can keep those crayons you took away. Wise guy. 

They are getting smarter but the things that they say are funny after the moment has passed and you look back. I keep telling myself enjoy these moments..... Enjoy these moments.....enjoy these moments........and Secretly I do.