I want my mom.

Being a parent is tough. Along with that is working, keeping your marriage in check, keeping your house in order, maintainin your car, maintaining your own vehicle ( your body), keeping up with play dates, keeping up with school events and keeping up with your friendships. All of it is so much that I sometimes just want to get away from it all. I daydream being alone in a beautiful balcony by the beach where I can hear the waves and have my eyes close and feel the soft warm breeze....... And then I am awaken from that daydream to "mommy.........Claud..........mommy.......Claud......." These are also moments where I want my mommy. There is a song that says "I want to crawl back inside my mothers womb" from Ingrid michaelson". That is so true I would love to do that. I. Fact sometimes I want to do that to my children and do that to Fabio (obviously to his mothers womb not mine). I just remember taking for granted those moments where my mom would caress my hair or hold me in those tight warm hugs and now I want those all the time for strength for a break for a moment of Serenity. Maybe my children would want that one day. I think about my mom saying that now she has all the time in the world and wishes she could have those moments back. I know I will also feel that way in the future where time will pass me by and I will regret complaining about my chaotic life now. I tell that to myself and then I daydream about the beach , about the breeze, about Kevin Bacon......oops I have said too much. 😄

A never ending birthday

What ever happened to having your birthday in your " birth day" for that one day. For my Lucas who turned six yesterday his birthday began on Thursday and ended today. Fabio and I are so tired and so is the birthday boy and his side kick, his brother Noah. In fact Noah who is three didn't care who's birthday it was, he just saw cake, a piñata and pizza and that was it for him, he was invited, he was there and he had a blast. This fiasco began Thursday when I surprised Lucas at school. I volunteer to help our a his class valentines day party and he was so happy. The next day mommy dropped off cupcakes, 10 pink ones with princess rings and 10 light blue ones with superhero rings (all requested by Lucas). Then Lucas was surprised by Fabio who was the secret reader of the day. At the bus stop Lucas was so thrilled to tell me about his fabulous day I then proceeded to take him to toys r us for Noah to pick something out for Lucas. Two hours later we got home for dinner. The next day was filled with Lucas doing what ever he liked, he requested to eat empanadas ( a Spanish treat) all day and he ate it all day. Later in the day, Fabio took Lucas to best buy after Lucas requested to get the skylanders game for his bday. He came home and played and played with daddy. Noah had no idea what video games were he just wanted the figurines and kept stealing them. Lucas was not so happy about that. On Sunday the celebration began, his grandparents arrived from upstate followed by his aunt, uncle, his cousins and his other set of grandparents (my mom and dad) Lucas was beyond excited. His day ( or days) had finally come and he was enjoying every bit of it. The party began win pizza and more empanadas and then the piñata (hoping the candy rush would wear out by the time the party was over so bedtime would be effortless but it wasn't). Then followed "the pin the tail in the donkey" ( the adults played as well). After, we had cake and open presents (Lucas wired with all the candy and being a little bit selfish complained that he didn't get enough toys). I was embarrassed by his reaction but thank God my family was only there. We then did karaoke. I thought the boys would not enjoy it but they got all into it. I mean they really did so did the adults. My sister and I even did "girls just want to have fun" and it was a blast. Then I remember I had a party to attend to. The celebration ended and then bedtime came. Lucas fell asleep fast but our little Noah the party animal did not fall asleep till an hour after Lucas. Noah is a tough party animal, so afraid for his future college years.
Then today his grandparents (Fabios parents) decided to take Lucas and Noah to toys r us so Lucas can pick out one more toy. So we all got in the minivan and went to the big toy store. I was about to pass out. Lucas picked so many different toys and put them in the cart so he could decide later which one he wanted. His poor father kept trying to convince him to get sport toys but all Lucas wanted was superheroes. Noah grab on to a box of power rangers and didn't let go (his grandparents bought it for him, he knew they would). At the end after fighting and pleading with Lucas to please pick a toy Lucas (with help from his father) decided on super Mario Wii game. Fabio and I have always agree on no video games for our kids. But after much talking about it we decided to get it for him. We didn't want him to be left out and now I know why we didn't want it. Lucas had a break down. In the middle of the super Mario game after numerous attempts to not fall off the trail Lucas collapsed on the floor and wept. My birthday boy had closed shop. I carried him brushed his teeth and without a word (ok maybe pleading a little to play more but I ignored it so it doesn't count) he passed out. Noah u ask? Noah also passed out an hour earlier after some pleading not to go to bed but he closed shop shortly after. So now I am in bed exhausted and thankful that the birthday celebration has come to an end and all goes back to normal tomorrow. Thank God Fabio and I are on vacation this week. Tomorrow potty train begins for Noah. Pray for us.

Date Night.

Oh date night .......how much I have missed you. Fabio and I are very protective of our children, we don't feel comfortable leaving our kids to anyone except family. We depend on our parents and siblings for that. All of Fabios family live far away, my younger sister lives far away, my older sister has a family of her own and my parents are our babysitters when we work so we hate to take their weekends too. So we are left without babysitters most of the time. It sucks and I completely miss having that alone time out in the town with my husband.

Before the kids we use to go out once a week for dinner. Out in the town and would go to the movies. We loved it. We sampled every restaurant near us and saw every movie out in theaters at the time. We sadly can't do that now and we miss it.

Luckily for us our old babysitter took two weeks off from her busy life as Dr. Ponton. Wohooooo Dr. Ponton to the rescue. Her only request was that we put the younger one to bed before we left and we did as she said and we were off. She only had to put one child to bed and the rest of the night was hers and she was sleeping over so Fabio and I could stay out as long as we wanted to. Awesome!!!!! We were off. We had dinner at the house so on our way to the movies we went and had hot chocolate and pastries. We talked and laughed. He opened the car door for me and we held hands all night. It was like old times. That old feeling😄 of being in love and it only being about each other. It may sound corny but I loved it all. Then we were off to see "turning 40". I am 36 and Fabio is 38 so we are not there yet but close to it. The movie was so great. It touches on everything that a marriage goes through. We laughed so hard and saw ourselves in the couples relationship at times. We sat next to these three young guys (wondered why they chose this movie). They were laughing too. The whole theater was laughing.

On one scene the couple were going away for the weekend and talked about their kids, how they were stressed with them and how the kids drove them crazy and seconds later they talked about how much they missed them already and wanted to see them again. I can relate. I miss my boys when I am away but when I am with them at times I want to be Away. Like during the day when they are driving me crazy and I yell at them. When they are asleep and I go check in on them I feel so guilty. I kiss them and promised not to yell and tell them how much I love them They look like tiny Angels.

On another scene, they talk about how they feel like they fight over the stupidest things because they are tired or aggravated. Fab and I often talk about how we have argued about silly things just because we were sleep deprived. Due to having our boys and wanting to set a good example we sometimes do the silent arguing. Where we are mad at each other , talk to each other only about the kids or house stuff but will not directly talk to each other. It's a cold conversation that leads to silence. We realized last night that may not be good for the boys either. They still see that and understand.

The movie hit home and it also made us realize that it's normal and that the most important part is that we love each other and want to be in this marriage. We are the foundation of our family. That without us our boys would not have a family so we have to and need to be happy with each other and in result they will be happy too.

At the end of the movie, I said to Fab "lets do something crazy". What he asked, he looked scared. We went to the McDonald drive thru and only got the french fries, soda and milkshake. Then we drove to Wendy's drive thru and got the spicy chicken sandwich. The lady at the Wendy's drive thru was laughing at us as we were paying for our sandwiches while stuffing French fries in our mouths. Sadly, we were not drunk. We were just high on love and on each other. Of course, the next morning we were suffering from heart burn but it was worth it.