Mr. Manners!!!!

When Lucas was born we knew manners were going to be one of the things that we needed to instill in him. He was a natural, so smooth, manners came easily to him. We got some many compliments on how well behaved he was with others (not us...but that's fine) and how polite he is. He even knows what words are appropriate and what aren't. He knows that "fat" is not a bad word but a hurtful word and should never be used. He even corrected his teacher when she referred to one of the crayons as the fat crayons. He is sensitive and I love it. 

Then we have my 3 1/2 year old Noah. He looks delicious, you can just eat him up. Most people see him and want to squeeze those cheeks and touch his shiny straight hair but he won't have it. We have taught Noah all the skills of being a good well manner boy. We did such a good job with Lucas we knew Noah would be a piece of cake. But like they say no kid is alike, Noah for now does not have manners. Sure he says Thank you, God bless you, please and excuse me but that is as far as it will go. He is very honest about everything and has no problem expressing himself. 

We were at Tae Kwon Doe where we go at least twice a week since Lucas has class there. The moms and dads we see there we see all the time so Noah knows all of them. One day one of the frequent moms we see came over and touch Noah's hair. He quickly turned around and pushed her hand away and yelled "don't touch me, don't touch my hair.... Mommy she touch me I don't know her". I apologized so many times and asked Noah to apologize. Of course he did but still was mad that she had dare touched his hair. 

Another time, at the playground, a little girl approached Noah and said"you are cute". He turned around and put on a mad face and yelled " I NOT CUTE I HANDSOME!!!" That is my Noah...rude but very confident. 

We are at Dutch Wonderland this week for a family vacation. On one of the rides, Lucas did not want to get on the kiddie ride with Noah and so Noah went on his own. Noah was fine with it until they put a girl next to him.  He gets up and yells " I don't want this girl sitting next to me, girls are stinky, get out girl". Thank God the mom was understanding and did not get mad. I said " Noah sit or we go home". That calmed him down but he could not wait to get off. He looked mad the whole ride  and then when he got off he began pouting about the stinky girl next to him. 

At my nephews christening a few weeks ago , I asked Noah not to sing in the mass because a t the christening there was no music. He wasn't listening so again I smiled and said "Noah quiet". He yells back in a quiet church "mommy you make me sooo mad, I want to sing, I want to sing and that's it". I would have crawled under a hole or given him time out but as all eyes were on me including Fabio who was the GodFather, I went to the floor eye level to him and said "Jesus is mad right now and he is going to tell Santa not to bring you presents on Christmas so be silent or else". That did the trick for the meantime. Hey I know I was mean but I was desperate. Hope he is not mean because of me. Great....now he will be scarred for life. 

At nursery school one day the director called me and said Noah had been sent to her because he was being bad. He apparently did not like the bows and clips on the girls hairs so he decided to ripped them off their hair pulling hair along with them. He did it to at least two girls. Lucas is a Kindergarden and went to the same nursery school and has never been sent to the principal or directors office. I was embarrassed and when we asked Noah at dinner what had happened, he replied "I don't like clips on girls hairs, its so silly, I don't like girls". We talked about keeping our hands to ourselves and he said "fine" stomping his feet as he walked away.

 

I don't know how or why our Noah has become so......unlike me because of course its a reflection on me but we will have to work hard to make him a better member of society or else the principal will be calling us a lot in the future. I blame genetics and ...........Fabio. 

If you ever meet Noah I apologize in advance. I would advice you to move on and hang out with Lucas. You have been warned!!!!

Losing our power.

Fabio asked me today "what do we do, the boys are not believing our threats anymore, we are losing our power."  Sadly, they have caught on to mommy and daddy tricks. They know mommy and daddy won't leave them on the side of the road, even when they open the door of the car and threatened to take them out and leave them. They know their toys won't be given to other boys and girls. They know that mommy and daddy won't give away our cats, Puffball and Bashy. They know. They have caught on that mommy and daddy love them and they are all talk. 

The other night we went to a 25th wedding anniversary party. It was for Fabios cousin (who is more like a sister) and her husband. They celebrated 25 years of putting up with each other and dealing with the ups and downs and still sticking together. That's a great accomplishment.  At the party we bumped into couples who have also been married a long time. As we were discussing our kids, one mom said something so wise. I wanted to stop the music and make a public announcement. What she said I have probably heard before but had not quite paid attention because maybe it didn't affect me at the time. It did now. She said "you can't make a big fuzz about things when they are little and as they get older, afterall these are all stages they have to go through and they keep getting harder and harder". She now had a 15 year old teenager. Another parent said, "3 and 6 years old is the best ages, they are still sweet, our kids are 18 and 21, its a different ball game". These parents were so right. I love meeting older couples with older children, their advice is enormous.  They make you feel better about moments were you think you have hit rock bottom with a tantrum. 

The other day, I picked up Noah from my parents house and Lucas was in the car. We had gotten a rental car because our minivan was getting repaired after an accident. We got a car that our insurance would pay for which was a Volkswagon Passat. Noah began screaming that he left a power ranger at grandpas house. I calmly told him we were already heading home and will pick up the toy tomorrow. He was not having it. He began to scream and scream. Lucas covered his ears. I realized at that moment how much I love love my mini van. In the Passat he was sitting right behind me, it's like he was screaming right into my ear. In the mini van the car is bigger and he is further in the back making his cries more tolerable. It's the little things that help you survive these moments. 

My nephew was baptized the other day, and at church Noah began singing when no one was singing. I asked him quietly to be quiet but he answered "no I want to sing and you are a mean mommy". All eyes were on me. I whispered if you don't be quiet mommy will not lay with you for 5 minutes when you got to bed. His answer " I don't want you, I want daddy to sleep with me for 5 minutes ". The threat had not worked. My three year old figures out that who cares if mommy was not there he has his back up daddy. It use to work with Lucas. :(

Warnings are exhausting. Fabio gives one warning and they listen and never do it again. I give one warning and then I feel bad and give another and then another and they know mommy is all talk. American super nanny said that one warning should be enough and they should know you mean business and that's it. Fabios got that going for him.  Me not so much. The other day I tell Lucas that if he says one more potty word I will take his crayons away (Lucas loves drawing). A few minutes later he says another potty word. I take his crayons and explain why. The next day he comes home with his pencil box from school. He says mommy I brought my crayons from school so you can keep those crayons you took away. Wise guy. 

They are getting smarter but the things that they say are funny after the moment has passed and you look back. I keep telling myself enjoy these moments..... Enjoy these moments.....enjoy these moments........and Secretly I do. 

Yucky bugs!!!!

I hate bugs!!!!!  Tiny bugs,small bugs, big bugs ......any type of bugs creep me out. I hate them. Maybe it's because I grew up in the city but we had cockroaches and ants there too and I still hated them. Not only are they disgusitng looking but some are pretty scary. I grew up with two sisters who also detested bugs. My dad hated them too, my mom was fearless. She didn't like them but she could grab a spider with no problem and put it back outside of the house. She grew up in a farm so I am sure that's where the braveness and indifference came from.

I moved to the suburbs and began seeing more bugs and ......bugs I had never seen before. Yuck!!!!!  Then Lucas was born and I tried to protect him from them. I would not let him get anywhere near bees, spyders or ants. Fabio would laugh at me and show Lucas all the bugs that our backyard could offer. Yuck!!!! He was fearless like my mom, he grew up in the suburbs. Lucas didn't hate the bugs or was disgusted by them....he wanted to save them and take care of them. He never wanted me to kill a bee, spyder or ant. He would ask me nicely to take it back out into the backyard. I would have killed them in the past but when Lucas was born I wanted him to be kind and sweet to everyone and every living thing. I screwed myself. I now have to find a way to get the bees out of the house before it stings me. I have to trap the spider and then set it free. I can't just stomp on the ant, I have to take her outside. My sweet Lucas had thought me to love these bugs and accept them into my life. 

Three years forward and Noah was born and made me ICKY of bugs all over again. Noah is fascinated by bugs.  He brings me ants and tells me "mommy the ant is sick". No I tell him "the ant is dead baby you squeeze him with your tiny fingers". He says. " oh sorry ant". 

He picks up spiders by one leg and brings them to me as the spider is trying to wiggle out. 

Noah digs like a dog in our back yard and pulls out worms and then brings them to me and tells me (as if I didn't know) that they are called worms. Lucas then runs and takes the worm and puts it back in the dirt so that it doesn't die. 

Noah brings me back bugs of any kind like that pet dog/cat that brings back dead animals for their owners. My sweet Noah gardens me with bugs. He brings me bees still alive kicking as he is holding them with his tiny chubby fingers. I then quickly have to kill the bees so they don't sting us out of vengeance for Noah's attack. 

Noah likes to bring me slugs, beetles and some bugs I don't even know what they are. Poor Lucas tries to save everyone one of them. I actually find myself trying to save those animals from Noah's chubby fingers, all except for the bees. 

No matter what, my boys have taught me to be fearless, caring and most of all embrace these tiny creatures in our lives but they are still yucky.