A six year old tantrum.

IBack in the day, invites to social events where for Fabio or I.  We like to think we were popular, we enjoyed going to these events and see our friends and family. Now, our social life is dictated by our kids popularities. Every week something is happening,either a play date, sports event, school event or birthday party. My calendar is filled with being the boys driver to and from places. 

One Saturday, we had soccer for Lucas in the morning followed by two separate birthday parties. The night before lucas  had a belt test for Tae Kwon Doe so needless to say he was tired. 

At each party all the moms would look at each other when we heard crying and I am sure each one of us was praying that it wasn't our child. Please let it be someone else's so I don't look like the one with the kid with the issue. When i looked at the first party and realized it was my Lucas, I wanted someone else to claim him. I thought the moms would look at me judgmental but no they looked at me with........pity. They felt bad that I had to be embarrassed and deal with him. Lucas had fallen from the bouncy house and had scraped his knee on the carpet. It was a tiny scrape but for a kid his age it was an emergency. He starts whining that he needs a band aid and that his blood was going to be shooting out at any second. He could have won an Emmy for his great performance. I did what any desperate mom would do, I offered him cake after the party if he was good. With that he responded that it was a birthday party and so cake would be offered. Oh that smart kid.....he knows what's up...... He is six after all. Then why these dramatic tantrums I thought. I looked at the moms and they had moved to another room them I turned mean mommy on. I took him to the bathroom and said " listen Mr Lucas you have a scrape and when we get home mommy will take care of it but for now you will stop your yelling and get back out there and smile and enjoy the cake and not ruin your friends bday party, and as for the cake enjoy it and because that is the last sweet thing you will have for a long time. This is your only warning". He knew I meant business. He wiped his tears and went into the party room. The moms just smiled at me and I smiled back. Hopefully the embarrassment is over. But it wasn't.....the biggest cry was just about to come. He ate the pizza....sang happy birthday and then ate cake. We were almost out the door when the favors were being handed out. The kids began trading the toys in their favor bags and Lucas was getting left out. A grandmother holding her own favor bag was standing near Lucas. He says to her" open your bag and let's trade". She says no that she was holding the bag for her grandson. Lucas insisted and grabbed her bag. He was desperate. I jumped right in apologized to the grandmother , said my goodbyes to the moms and then grabbed Lucas hand and led him out the door. He began screaming. I walked out with a screaming kid and smiled at everyone on the way out to my car. What can I do but smile?  I had to take it like a big girl. My Lucas.....my six year old was having a tantrum and I had to suck it up and deal with it. I put him in his car seat and buckled him in and drove out of the parking lot while he was still crying. I get to my first stop light out the parking lot and look back and he is out. He was tired and his crying was how he dealt with his exhaustion. I wasn't a bad mom I just had a kid who was tired after all week of school, tae Kwon doe, soccer and T-ball. He earned his exhaustion. 

He slept in the car for about 45 minutes. I got to my house and stayed in the driveway until he woke up. I closed my eyes too I needed a nap as well. By the second party he was back to his old self and someone's else's kid cried. Thankfully it was not mine. 

Star of the week.

Lucas was star of the week. A complete week just for him to....to celebrate him. Secretly I was dreading it but he had been waiting since September for his week and it finally had arrived. I mean I wanted him to have it but it was so much to prepare. For Monday, I had to prepare a poster of his life with baby pictures, his favorite things and what he wants to be when he grows up. I stayed up all night the weekend before doing this poster. I wanted it to be perfect. Yes I have had since September to prepare so I shouldn't complain but of course with kids there is no time. I made the poster finally and Lucas loved it when I showed it to him (Fab didn't help, he had done the preschool poster for star of the week so he thought it was my turn.....he thought......you have to learn to pick your battles but thats another blog). Then on Tuesday he had to bring in his favorite book for the class to read. Wednesday I had to write either a letter or a short story where he was the main character (this I had to do....I am more creative in this than the Fabster......although he had some criticism but no suggestions.....you have to ..you know the drill). I spent two days really focusing on what I should write and what I should said.

It read as follows.

Do you know a superheroe ? I will tell you about our superheroe.

On 2/17/07, a superhero was born. His name is Lucas Barone. Although no one knew at the time, he had hidden powers and was going to change the world. From the moment he was born he was special to his Mommy and Daddy and soon everyone saw how magical he was, and of course how handsome he became. One of Lucas powers was his big bright sunshine smile. Greatest smile in the world. You see, Lucas smile could brighten up any room. His smile is like the sun, his rays go everywhere and everyone around him could feel the warmth and his smile makes you smile. In fact, I bet he is smiling right now and everyone in the room is warm .....and ...smiling. Do you see his magical power?

Another power Lucas has is he could run super super fast like..... Superman. You should see him playing soccer, no one can keep up with him. I bet eating all of those yummy oranges helped him run so fast or maybe he is just that fast because of his powers. Once Lucas helped his little brother Noah from a stranger. Mommy took Lucas and Noah to the mall and Noah let go of mommys hand and began talking to a stranger and Lucas quickly ran after Noah and grabbed his hand and told him not to talk to strangers and to always stay close to mommy and daddy. Lucas used his super power of running fast to help his brother.

Lucas is also super strong. He never cries when he hurts himself in the soccer field. He just gets up and doesn't quit, he keeps trying. Lucas also helps his mommy. His mommy sometimes is very sick and weak. Lucas helps his mommy by lending a hand when she can't walk. He is so strong and sometimes he holds his mommy so she won't fall. He is super strong.

Lastly, Lucas is super smart. In fact, so smart he is going to become a scientist. As a scientist he is going to make superheroes like him so there wont be any more bad people. He says that bad people will get one warning and they have to make good choices. The bad people will make the good choice to be good and everyone will be safe because of the superheroes.

Do you see how powerful this superhero is? Lucas has said that he will change the world. You know what boys and girls, I bet he is, because he is doing it right now. So next time, someone tells you that superheroes don't exist, tell them they are wrong because you know......... Lucas.
The End

This is what the teacher read to the class I also included the class names of the students in each part of the "powers" saying how each of them had the same power. One little girl said "wow lucas you do have powers you are making me smile right now". Love the innocence. Thursday was show and tell and he brought in a toy he loves (Fab helped with this....it was a hard job I bet). On Friday, it was a surprise reader which was me (Fabio had to work and it was my day off....how convenient for him) and I had to bring in snacks for all the kids. Some of them said "Mrs. Barone you only brought one snack". I was told one snack and I stuck to the rules...greedy kids.

The boys were asking some many questions...the girls were commenting on my appearance "you are very pretty Mrs Barone" "I like your top Mrs. Barone" "You are the sweetest prettiest mom". Hmm... whenever I need a pick me up I will make sure to come read a book. At the end of reading two books, all the kids were staring at me as if "what else you got". Thank God, it was lunch time.

So this star of week never existed when I was little I would have loved it. Even though I complain of the work, it was lovely to see Lucas so happy that his time had finally come. Check out the pictures below.

Praise the stay at home moms!!!

I am a working mom, I always enjoyed working.....never thought of staying home. When my boys were little I felt that they were too little to notice if I was around but as they get older I see how much they need me and how much I miss them. I am lucky enough to have a job that allows flexibility at times so I am able to be home to pick up Lucas from the bus and work back in the evening plus i also get to work from home one day a week and be able to stay home with them if they get sick. I am also lucky enough to have my parents taking care of my boys when I am working. But even with those luxuries I feel I am not 100% there for my boys. In the back of my mind even when I am picking him up from that bus stop I am still thinking about work. So last year I decided that every vacation that I will take will be the weeks that the kids have off from school. I thought it would be great quality time with them and I would not be thinking of work. I loved it. I took the Feb break off but Lucas ended up having school. I focused on potty training Noah I was exhausted by the end of the week. I didn't go anywhere focusing on the potty training. At the end of the week Fabio said "you look like a beat down woman". I was soooo tired but the results were a success. Last week was the boys spring break and I was so excited to spend quality time wih my boys. I thought it would be relaxing and fun, like the commercials that you see on TV when the mom has gotten allergy relief medicine and then starts running (looking beautiful I may add) after her children in a beautifully landscaped backyard with the grass as green as ever. I thought it would be like that but it wasn't. I did not look beautiful, kids were crying....I was crying and the grass was dead.

From 7am to 730/8pm I was with them all day. No breaks. They went everywhere I went. They followed me like paparazzi and never lost me even when I tried to escape. They had energy all day and where hungry every hour. They asked for me every half an hour and then there was whining.......crying.....pleading......beggingand screaming (from them not me....OK maybe it was me too.....don't judge me). I also was not feeling well, fighting off a cold but there were no breaks to tend to me when my two demanding boys are after me. Even our two cats where passed out by 7 pm after not being able to sleep all day from having the boys make so much noise during the day. I would take them outside in the AM and by the time we came in for lunch I just wanted to lay on the couch with my feet up but not them...they were ready for more. Then there was lunch, snack times and dinner not to mention the breakfast. I barely ate (I could have drank) and the days seemed to go by so slow and my evening to myself so fast

Their bed time is 730 for Noah and 8 for Lucas, I would stick to that schedule so that at night I could have time to myself. Don't judge me....I was dying....I needed to take a shower and focus on nothing but the TV in my bed. After the shower, I would end up passing out so I could never watch my shows. Fabio would get home from work and would want to spend every minute he could with the boys (the way I am when I work) but I needed my time. It would be 8:01 and I would give Fabio dirty looks. He was cutting into my time. I would have put then to bed at 7 if I could have but that would be mean. Every night when they were sleeping, I would go into their rooms and apologize to them,kiss them and would feel so guilty. The next day I would try harder but the exhaustion was just too much.

Although the following Monday morning my work routine began all over again I was thankful to be going back to the adult world until Noah began crying when we were leaving Lucas at the bus stop "I want to stay with mommy and Lucas all day". He broke my heart....maybe it was not that bad but then I looked at my two cats who gave me that look "send those kids to school we want to sleep".

Stay at home moms are amazing. That is the hardest job ever and I sucked at it.